Boundaries - Episode 3 - Seven Common Reactions to Boundaries
...most are bad 😡👻🤨... but the last one is good ⭐️
Hello Noodles!
Last week (check out episode 1 and episode 2 if you missed them) we saw what are boundaries and how we can set them, now let’s see the common ways people react to our boundaries…
The first one is pushing back. People generally tend to react like this when they are afraid that something is changing in your relationship. This new boundary is pushing them to a place where they feel uncomfortable, so they push back.
The next way people can react to our boundaries is by simply ignoring them. They often pretend that they didn’t hear them, even when they did.
Some people can feel attacked by our boundaries. When this happens, they tend to react with defensiveness and make it sound like you are the issue in the situation.
When you set a new boundary, you express that a behavior you once accepted is now unacceptable to you. Some people might struggle to accept that and will question your boundary as a way to make it feel less legitimate.
Ghosting and silent treatment are common unhealthy reactions to boundaries too. It can range from providing you with only very short answers to completely disappearing without explanation.
When they hear your boundary, some people are tempted to see how much you’re willing to bend. Stay strong and tell them you notice they are testing your limits.
Finally, some people will have the only healthy reaction to our boundaries: acceptance. No questions, no negotiation, no guilt-tripping, just plain and simple acceptance of your clearly expressed needs.
Now that you know how people tend to respond to boundaries, let’s look at how you can react when someone violates your boundaries.
Some people will just need a quick reminder of the boundary, so first, just restate and refresh your boundary.
If that doesn’t work, you can reduce your interactions with the person who is not respecting your boundary or issue an ultimatum.
Finally, when nothing else works, remember that you are allowed to let go of the relationship.
Of course, it’s never easy to cut people off. Here’s what
says about it:That’s it for today!
I hope you enjoyed this episode! If you did, feel free to share it with someone you know. In the next (and last!) episode, we will see why we tolerate unhealthy boundaries 👀. Stay tuned!
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Thank you for sharing! I still haven't gained the courage to state my boundaries because of the current situation I'm in, however, I do talk with my spouse about my boundaries and we as a couple respect one another's boundaries which is a major plus, even if no one else does.
I really enjoyed that! 🥒💞